For those of you who’ve bothered to check the big result from last night, it follows here. I’ll be honest, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.

Blue Square Premier League: Luton Town 2 Newport County 2

Relief for me, but for my promotion chasing friend Welsh Andy, frustration. It was about to get worse for our man though. For, back across in his homeland, a diabolical happening was unfolding at the Cardiff City Stadium. There’s little in life as parochial as Welsh football. There’s no love lost between any of the traditional sides but the others (Newport County, Swansea and Wrexham) are united unequivocally in their hatred of the team from the capital.

Real hatred. We’re talking Montagues and Capulets, Judean People’s Front and the People’s Front of Judea, Smiley and Karla. That sort of hatred.

Last night, that team from the capital, Cardiff City won promotion from the Npower Football Championship to the Barclays Premier League. This means, for the first time in over fifty years, top flight football will be played in Cardiff.

I probed my mate for his reaction this morning. His text message, quoted verbatim, gives you an insight into the level of hostility I mean.

“I’m entering therapy as we speak!!!!! Hundreds of Blues, or Reds, or Dragons, or whatever ghastly manifestation they’ve mutated into are coming out of the woodwork!!! Damn them all the way to Merthyr Tydfil I say!!! Praying that their thugs appear at every ground next season, tear the place apart, and get themselves relegated to the Newport and District Amateur League.

I think I’ve said enough!!!

Last night’s result was pleasing as it gave pride all round my friend. Neil (Another name for County’s striker Chris Jolley, Ed.) is hitting form at just the right time. Please, please let us go up- it would wipe away the pain caused by those arrogant muddy funsters (Ok, I’ve paraphrased a little there, Ed.) from the wrong side of the M4!!!!”

Nothing does astringent bitterness as sublimely or as beautifully as a Welshman with the right hump. Close your eyes.

Now imagine Richard Burton (or, for you older readers, David Lloyd George) saying that.