Went drinking last night at the close of play. Fell in with a bunch of lads in some cafe near the ground. Four London Pilseners* in and one of the chaps and I are comparing travelling stories. He’d come to India indirectly via China (Hello China!). In China he bought a watch.
Frankly, it’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen.
It cost about a fiver, and it doesn’t work. No matter, it’s still one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen.
The watch face features a uniformed Chairman Mao smiling broadly with his arm outstretched.
For every second that passes, his arm goes up and down.
Up and down.
Up and down.
While Chairman Mao smiles on serenely.
Up and down.
Up and down.
I will get a picture of it. As fail-safe as the Morecambe & Wise breakfast sketch to raise a smile. On the way back from the ground today I eschewed the cafes and bars on account of my dicky belly.
I didn’t need the Chairman Mao watch to lift the spirits, England’s performance today had done that already.
Well played chaps, more of the same tomorrow please….
*The Mumbai equivalent of Sri Lanka’s Lion beer. Horrid stuff. There’s an even more corrosive option on offer here too, Golden Eagle.
You just wouldn’t.
7 responses to “I Like Chinese”
6950nis
November 24th, 2012 at 14:28
Never mind a photo!!!! I demand a video of the Chairman Mao watch so we can see him wave too…. Need any more books yet? Kevin
6950nis
November 24th, 2012 at 14:31
Never mind a photo!!! I want a video so I can see Mao waving at me too!!! Need any more books yet? Kevin
henrywisson
November 24th, 2012 at 15:05
Great to hear from you fella. Doing ok for books at the moment thank you for asking.
In fact, I couldn’t help myself, there’s these old book shacks on the main drag in Mumbai, absolutely brilliant they are, and I bought Le Carre’s The Honourable School Boy for seventy rupees. Got I’m down from one hundred I did….
“Won’t ‘aggle???? Burt, this bloke said he won’t ‘aggle….”
Not sure when I’ll get round to reading it as I’m working my way through your selection at the moment.
Hope all’s well with you. I’ll double my efforts to get a picture of the Mao watch now.
Nigel
November 24th, 2012 at 17:10
I do believe that this is the watch that you are referring too? http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=zFPo-TQYP2w&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DzFPo-TQYP2w
Available for £4.99 from various online tat shops! Political Comedy Genius!
henrywisson
November 24th, 2012 at 17:25
That’s it! That’s the one…. Marvellous isn’t it?
Well spotted that man. Err, can you buy it out in the USA?
Phil
November 25th, 2012 at 11:51
Worse than lion?! Oh dear…
henrywisson
November 25th, 2012 at 12:59
Oh, it’s horrendous mate.
The worst thing is there’s the Golden Eagle Roulette, where in a round of London Pilseners, the person choosing the short straw has to drink the Golden Eagle instead.
One Golden Eagle, there’s only one Golden Eagle…..